New Year's Resolutions

I know I havent written in a LONG time, but I have been busy...kind of. I have been thinking a lot about what I want to acheive in the new year. There are so many things I would like to improve but I had to just pick a few. I tried to pick resolutions that would improve more than one area of my life and I tried to narrow it down to 3 goals. It is easier to focus my attention on a few areas rather than spread myself thin over too many goals. So here they are:

1- Do the Daniel Fast for 40 days starting on the 1st of January.

This goal is one I have been wanting to do for a long time, but something always gets in the way. I did do it for 2 weeks last year and I felt great. But then something came along and I fell off the wagon. If you are not sure what the Daniel Fast encompasses, here are the basics: No meat, no dairy, no sugar. Basically all natural stuff so your body can cleanse and heal itself. I will be bloggin throughout my journey talking about my successes and struggles.

2- Focus on prayer: Before meals, in the morning, and in the evening.

This is an area of my life I have wanted to work on for a long time because I know my relationship with the Lord will grow exponentially but just havent due to outside things getting in the way. I bought a women's Bible with a focus on prayer (for $65!!!) to help me stay focused. Which brings me to my next goal...

3- Read my entire NIV Bible in 2009 and memorize a Bible verse every month.

I read through my Message Bible in 2008(well I almost made it, I only had a couple of books to go and will finish those before I start school on Jan 5th). Now I would like to experience God's word in another fashion, the NIV translation. This time through I am going to add another dimension by memorizing Bible verses.


So there you go... My hopes for the New Year. I will try my hardest to Blog a little more. But I dont even know if anyone besides Michelle reads my blogs. Oh well... I will do it just for you Michelle :)

I just took this personality profile and I think it fits me to a T!! You should read mine and do one of your own!!

Crazy?!?!

Last Sunday I was at Sunday school at my aunt and grandma's church. We were discussing a passage from the Bible, I think from Acts??, where scrolls were burned that were worth TONS of money because the sorcerers, or whatever, gave their lives to God and were getting rid of everything that was poisoning their lives.

Since the scrolls were worth a lot of money, someone made the point (for arguments sake, I do not believe they actually would have done this) that they could have sold the scrolls and gotten some money out of it. But if they would have sold the scrolls it would have just been passing on the sin instead of getting rid of it. Which is like saying "these things are destroying my life so I must get rid of them, but its okay if they destroy your life." In selling the scrolls it would have also created another sin, love of money over God.

During class I began to think of how this related to my life. I think the sin that has been laying on my heart for awhile is the Sex and the City series. I own all the seasons and the movie came out a few months ago. Since I gave my life to Christ, I have not been into the series. I believe with my whole heart the Lord was telling me that I needed to give up this vice and actually did not go see the movie (although I did read about how it ended). It was not so much the series but what the series stood for: promoting casual sex and promiscuity. I did not want to take part in that anymore.

Even though this is my belief, I kept the DVDs of the series, telling myself that it was ok as long as I was not watching them. Which is stupid when you think about it. I even toyed with the idea of selling them on CraigsList or something, but never got around to it. So, back to the Sunday school connection, I think the Lord used the lesson to bring to my attention my "scrolls" (or Sex and the City DVDs) and how they were weighing me down and keeping me from being closer to him. Even though I didnt watch them, they were there in my space. And I couldnt sell them because that was just passing a sin on and not getting rid of it.

So... what did I do??? The people in the Bible burned their scrolls... I threw mine away!!

Crazy?!?!? Maybe.

Crazy for the Lord?!?!? Absolutely!!

Mom?!?!

Apparently I have 2 17 year old daughters!!! This weekend I got called the mother of my 2 cousins not once, but twice!!! The first time was Friday night. We went to watch the Clackamas High School team play Oregon City. As we were leaving, the gate attendant tried to get my cousin, Kala's attention to tell her that if she left she couldnt come back in. Mid-monologue she turns around and sees me and says "Oh its ok. Mom's with you!!" OMG... (side note: right after this incident we encountered a drunk guy who said, as he walked by us "Oh man I wish I were still in high school. You girls are gorgeous!" So not in high school!!)

Second time, we were at the nail salon getting pedicures. First the ladies asked me if I were paying for the pedicures (there were 4 of us! haha). I said "No" and thought nothing of it. Later Kala told me her girl asked her if mom was paying, and pointed to me!!! Two time!!! In 24 hours!!! What is this world coming too?????

Conclusion: I am old!

God is SOOOO Good!

Wow! Yesterday was a roller coaster of emotions. For those of you who dont know, I havent had any luck finding a job. I had 2 interviews: one for a 5th grade position at Reedville and one for a bilingual kindergarten at Henry. The bilingual position I hadnt applied for, but the principal, Crystal, called me and wanted me to come in and at least interview due to my background in Spanish (Argentina and Chile). I interviewed and did fairly well, but they wanted someone with a little more Spanish skills, which I knew but went for the interviewing experience. (On a separate, yet relevant note: Crystal, the principal, knows my mom from back in her principaling days) After these two opportunities, there werent really anymore jobs posted. I think 3 came out and that was it. So I was looking at subbing, which is not really my choice, but I will do what I need to do.

Anyways, school roles around and I start putting things together for subbing. All the while questioning my choice in career. Being away from teaching for so long, I was beginning to forget my love for it. Disappointed with where I was and no prospects of getting anywhere, I lost hope and faith in the fact the Lord had a plan.

With all of this going on in my life, my doubts and fears, I get a call on Wednesday from Crystal at Henry. She got an FTE position for a 1/2 blend class and wanted me to come in and interview on Thursday for it. I was SOOOO excited!! I researched blend classes and wrote down some notes to take into the interview with me.

Thursday roles around and I am feeling pretty good. Taking into account I had already interviewed here, I felt more comfortable and ready. The interview went well, but it was really short, which meant either they already knew they wanted me or they knew who they did want.

Friday morning I got a call from Crystal saying I didnt get the job. I was super disappointed and really began to question my choice in careers. If I couldnt even get a teaching job, maybe I wasnt cut out for it and the universe was trying to tell me something.

But here is where the story really gets cosmic and obviously God-directed, after Crystal tells me I didnt get the position, she lets me know that Butternut (my old elementary school) has a temporary position opening up and she will e-mail the principal and tell her about me. She also suggested I give Butternut a call and let them know I am interested. After I got off the phone, I woke up (I was sleeping when she called... haha) and was just supper down-in-the-dumps and just moping around the house. I let everyone know I didnt get it. In the afternoon I started contemplating calling Butternut. It was a real dilemma for me because I didnt want to be a bother to the principal. The position wasnt even posted yet. So I asked my mom if she thought I should call. She said ya, and just ask if I could maybe drop my resume off after school.

I decided to call at 2:45ish, which was an hour away. In the meantime I decided to go down to the pool and enjoy the sun. I get down there and start talking to Tiffany about everything and telling her how humbling it is to not get a job, because before this I had gotten every job I applied for and really wanted. As I am mid-sentence with her, my phone rings. It is a Hillsboro number so I kinda get excited but not hoping for too much. I answer the phone and it is the principal from Butternut!!! She tells me about the position, it is a temporary 1st grade until the end of October, and asks if I can start on Monday!! I didnt even have to interview for it, let alone I hadnt even met her!! Wow!!!

All I can say is I am sorry I doubted God, because He certainly had a plan for me!

Melting Pot!!! Yummm..... Double Yummm

This weekend I had the most wonderful and orgasmic experience EVER!!! The Melting Pot... OMG... Cheese and Chocolate... enough said but I will go on. For those of you who have never been there, there are table top heaters (actually on the table) with pots on them. You order the type of cheese you want, they have 6 choices and then they come out and make the cheese mixture right in front of you. Then they bring out breads, chips, vegetables, and apples for you to dip into the cheese. You have these prong things that you poke stuff with... totally yum... the fiesta cheese was amazing in case you want a recommendation. Next we got dessert. You get to choose a chocolate mixture... plain chocolate or something mixed in. We got the Turtle which is chocolate mixed with caramel (and had nuts in it but we opted out of that). They bring out the chocolate and then a plate of wonderful yummies: cheese cake, brownies, pound cake, marshmallows, bananas, strawberries, and some other yummies I cant think of. You then proceed to dip all these amazing things in the chocolate and put them in your mouth and orgasmic delight follows.

Funny and slightly embarrassing story... we are eating our dessert and finish the 2 plates the Waiter brings out and want more... so we ask and get it. Then a couple of minutes later our Waiter brings our bill over and says this: "Here is your bill whenever you are ready. Oh ya and inside the bill there are mints. You can dip THOSE in the chocolate TOO!!!" OMG.... I am surprised he didnt make Oinking sounds after he told us this. I was so embarrassed. Tiff said we should have responded with "I'll dip YOU in the chocolate!" Hahah... I probably would have... the chocolate was amazing!

And here is the best part... although I am lactose intolerant... I did NOT get sick!!! yea me!!

So I am totally obsessed with the Twilight series. I remember seeing the books awhile ago, but thought nothing of it. Then my mom (yes, I said my mom) checked it out from the library and was reading it. She said it was pretty good so I thought I would check it out. Little did I know it would just open up a whole can of obsession worms, not to be confused with normal earth worms. I read the first book in a day. And this is no little feat, the book is over 500 pages long!!!!! I immediately bought the other 2 books and read those each in a day. Luckily for me, I got into the series right when the fourth book came out. I got up early that Saturday to go to Target to make sure I got a copy.

Just in case you are wondering the books, in order, are Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn.

For people who know me really well, they know I am prone to obsession: Obsession of subway, home-made potato french fries, noodles and parmesan cheese, movies (Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, etc.), books. This Twilight obsession is just the most recent in a long history of obsessions. My infatuation of this books stems from the love between the two main characters. I think it was really easy to get into the story because it is written in first person; I could really imagine myself as Bella Swan, the love of Edward's life who happens to be a vampire. In the deep darkest parts of my brain I have always wanted something fantastically supernatural to happen to me. Oh I know it will never happen, but some part of me is a little sad it will never happen. That is why is read so much, I can pretend! The two main characters are made for each other in a weird creepy, yet totally romantic way. I love how Edward protects Bella with his life and puts her at the center of his being. She not only is a part of his life, but is his life. To be loved wholly like that is my dream. Sometimes I dont think I will ever find something so all consuming and will have to either settle or live my life alone, either of which is terrifying to someone who longs for her soul mate like me.

NEwaz, I know it is just fiction, but it is fun fiction. And if you are looking for a book to read on those rainy days, I would recommend this series. But it is a young adult book so dont expect anything too profound, just some good old fashioned fun!

Prideful Heart Vs. Humble Heart

Yesterday, the Lord really opened up my heart with the message from the pastor at my church, Solid Rock. (Note: there hasnt been a message there that I havent been touched by) The message focused on how to know if you are having a prideful heart. Because a lot of people always are quick to judge others for having in inflated ego, but hardly ever notice their own problems. Just like Jesus said... do not focus on the speck in your brother's eye before you take out the log in yours.

It hit home for me because I think overall I am a humble person, but in saying that I am having pride in being humble. I also have been know to say that I am a good teacher and districts dont realized what they are missing out on by not hiring me. And that statement in and of itself reaks of pride. I also always wonder why I dont have a boyfriend because I would say that I am a good catch. And yet again another statement that has its basis in pride. I realized it is a fine line between pride and actual humility. People often hide pride in the phrase "self-esteem". But there is a difference in having a strong sense of self and promoting yourself. If you have to keep telling people how great you are, no one will actually have time to discover that for themselves.

During the sermon I was convicted. I need to work on thanking God for things that go well in my life instead of thinking it had anything to do with me. I need to do things that God would admire in me and quit trying to make other people like me to build my "self-esteem".

Beautiful!

Last night I was working my shift at Blockbuster, I looked up from the register to see the most handsome man I have ever seen. He literally took my breath away! I stared at him for a minute before I remembered I was in public and that is considered inappropriate. He asked me to help him find "Into the Wild" so I did (cause that is basically my job... although helping him was much more fun cause it was something nice to look at).

When he came up to check out, I still couldnt stop staring. It is weird because normally I am attracted to men with dark hair and dark complexions. But he was neither. He had really blond hair with light skin. His face looked like someone I could picture as a prince from a romance novel. Words really cant describe what I thought when I saw him.

In all honesty, he was gorgeous but way out of my league. But I can dream cant I!!!! ;) Maybe I will see him again at Blockbuster???? And I can make a fool out of myself again, with drool hanging off of my lip! Hahah... here's hoping!

Crazy World... Striving for Patience

Well, my job search is going horribly. Next week is when teachers go in to get their classrooms ready and I am still without a job. I keep hoping something will come up but it seems like a long shot. I know that I can always substitute but that is not what I want to do. I am such a shy person... it scares me to think about going into a different classroom everyday with students who are not mine and trying to control them. Michelle says its not so bad, but it terrifies me!!!! On the other hand substituting does have a few pluses: Not as much take home stuff, I dont have work everyday if I dont want to, I can leave right when I am done without having to worry about staying longer... there are probably more but right now it is hard to think of a whole lot of them.

On church on Sunday, the message was about doing God's will, not your own, and being patient for His will because He is not on your time line. I felt as though the pastor was talking to me. I have been in a place in my life for awhile now that I am thinking "what about me? Did you forget me Lord?" I am without a job (right now, by choice I know), I have been single for like ever and a day, I do not have a clear future, yadda yadda yadda... it feels like I am waiting for something, anything, to happen. But throughout the message, I realized I was trying to bend God's will for me into something that I thought would make me happy. Now I realize I do not know what is best for me, I only think I do. God's plan is way better than any I could come up with so I need to stop trying to control my future and look to God to show me the way. Not that this will be easy for sure. For one, God is very cryptic and doesnt just tell you what he wants you to do (even though I wish he would just come down and let me know!!!!) I need to pray more I think and spend more quiet time with the Lord so I have the time to hear His voice because right now, in this crazy hectic life, it is hard to hear anything above the loud hum of life. I guess I need to wear ear-plugs!

Alright, thats enough for now... Brittany Out!

Job Search

So its a no go for both interviews that I have had. The kindergarten one wanted an applicant with more Spanish skills, which was kind of a relief since I would have had to teach all in Spanish. That would have been a huge challenge for me to overcome. And the 5th grade at Reedville went to another applicant. She said I was one of the top applicants but who knows how many people she said that too. Oh well I am just going to assume they really did like me.

That means I am still looking!!! Bummer... I really was hoping to have a job soon... And there really arent any openings right now. stinky socks. I guess God is just freeing me up for the perfect job and leading me where I can be used to for His good. I just wish He would hurry up and let me know what (and where) that good is.

I really have nothing else to say at the moment... Brittany Out

I got an Interview for an ALL Spanish Kindergarten Class!!!

Ok... I am freaking out and yet totally excited! I just got called by a principal for a position in a Spanish speaking Kindergarten Class!! I didnt even apply for this position, but she called me anyways. And my mom says she is a wonderful principal to work for.

I am nervous because I do not know if my Spanish skills are good enough to teach in it. It would be my dream to do something like this. I just need to get over my fear of being imperfect and go for it!!!

Wish me luck!!