Well, my job search is going horribly. Next week is when teachers go in to get their classrooms ready and I am still without a job. I keep hoping something will come up but it seems like a long shot. I know that I can always substitute but that is not what I want to do. I am such a shy person... it scares me to think about going into a different classroom everyday with students who are not mine and trying to control them. Michelle says its not so bad, but it terrifies me!!!! On the other hand substituting does have a few pluses: Not as much take home stuff, I dont have work everyday if I dont want to, I can leave right when I am done without having to worry about staying longer... there are probably more but right now it is hard to think of a whole lot of them.
On church on Sunday, the message was about doing God's will, not your own, and being patient for His will because He is not on your time line. I felt as though the pastor was talking to me. I have been in a place in my life for awhile now that I am thinking "what about me? Did you forget me Lord?" I am without a job (right now, by choice I know), I have been single for like ever and a day, I do not have a clear future, yadda yadda yadda... it feels like I am waiting for something, anything, to happen. But throughout the message, I realized I was trying to bend God's will for me into something that I thought would make me happy. Now I realize I do not know what is best for me, I only think I do. God's plan is way better than any I could come up with so I need to stop trying to control my future and look to God to show me the way. Not that this will be easy for sure. For one, God is very cryptic and doesnt just tell you what he wants you to do (even though I wish he would just come down and let me know!!!!) I need to pray more I think and spend more quiet time with the Lord so I have the time to hear His voice because right now, in this crazy hectic life, it is hard to hear anything above the loud hum of life. I guess I need to wear ear-plugs!
Alright, thats enough for now... Brittany Out!
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